First, I must not emulate Lot's wife. I do not regret my decision to resign my licence, indeed perhaps this is something I should have done ages ago. I must not look back, either in regret or bitterness. There is much I could be bitter about, but it does me no good to ruminate over things that are now dead and gone, nor to demonise the agents of my departure, nor to allow these thoughts to ruin what for me is an opportunity to start afresh.
Second, I have to keep up my discipline, and not let things go. I may not have a licence anymore but I still have the training of a Reader which I've been exercising. I also have the Rule of my oblation which does give me some structure. The temptation is that, while I am not an obvious part of any worshipping community, that I am no longer bound by commitments to prayer and working the Will of God. So it is important that, while I'm on my own I should keep up the activities that I established while I was licenced and apply them in suitable situations - such as blogging. It makes sense then to keep this little blogling going while I can.
I alluded last time to the word theos having the underlying notion of "to leap" and was called up on it by a couple of friends. The information I found was from Olivier Clement's book The Roots of Christian Mysticism in which he mentions that theos comes from theirai meaning "to found" and theein "to leap" and he quotes this in context of St Theophilus of Antioch. Whether or not it is true that the word theos has this derivation, I feel certain that the idea of God the founder and foundation of the universe leaping beyond every bound, gives us a certain colour to what little we truly understand of Him. It is true that God does leap between Heaven and Earth and this immediately makes me think of the passage about Jacob's ladder:
And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set ; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed; And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest , and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of. And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not. And he was afraid, and said, How dreadful is this place! this is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven. And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it. And he called the name of that place Bethel...
It is in the night-time that he will learn of his proximity to Heaven, for the ladder which bridges Heaven and Earth, upon which the Angels climb to perform their ministrations, is nothing less than the Cross of Christ. God stands with us, through his Eternal presence, through the person of His Son Who walked with us, and still walks with us now, and through the Holy Paraclete who allows us to perceive Heavenly realities. The Father's presence with us has the intimacy and interior nature of a dream, but a dream that points to hidden reality and uncovers obvious truth. If the sun sets upon our journey, we should not fear because God is in this place - the darkness and the light to Him are both alike.