“Well actually...”
Social media comment boxes are full of “well actually…”s.
When someone expresses a fact,
you can bet your boots that
someone will take issue with that fact
and find some way of correcting it,
loudly and obnoxiously.
Many times you can find yourself
being corrected for things
you didn't know were possible.
Why?
Why do people bother
to make comments
that correct others?
[PAUSE]
There is an old meme
on the Internet
that says,
“Don't bother me, I’m busy!
Someone on the Internet is wrong.”
Sometimes we just can't help
trying to put others right.
We do this often
because we believe
that we have the truth
and that this truth is
utterly true and
inescapably correct.
We believe that we have
the knowledge that this is true.
We believe that
we can refute arguments
with a simple one-liner.
The trouble is,
we have fallen into
precisely what Saint Paul
warns us against.
We have become
wise in our own conceits.
[PAUSE]
Saint Paul recognises the danger
of intellectual pride.
He recognises the compulsion
that we have to correct others
and to make them aware of
why they are wrong.
Of course,
this may be necessary.
If someone believes that
a lorry isn't hurtling
down the road towards them,
then telling them that there is,
loudly and urgently,
is clearly an important thing to do!
But it is the motives
in intellectual pride
that give it away
for the sin that it is.
Intellectual pride has its birth in
how we react to
being told that
we are clever.
We are praised for
being a good school child,
which is right and proper,
but if we allow that praise
to enter into our soul
as something to crave
and become addicted to
then we risk becoming the school swot.
School swots always unpopular
because their rightness
puts other people down.
It is condescending
and damaging,
pushing people away.
Their rightness comes
at the expense of others'
true growth in Christ.
Intellectual pride is only
about the standing of our own intellect,
it is not about
the perfection of other people.
And perfection of other people is
precisely the goal of loving them.
[PAUSE]
Now,
Saint Paul often writes
to correct his readers.
Look at his letter to the Romans!.
It isn't that he wants to put the Jews down,
nor that he wants to raise the Gentiles up,
but rather that he wants
both Jew and Gentile to be joined
in love for Christ and for each other.
What he doesn't do
is use his heritage
to show how clever he
and insult the intelligence
of his readership.
Our intellects have to be used for love,
not for bolstering our own egos,
or massaging our sense of self-worth.
That phrase “well actually…”
is a phrase that can be used
to alienate other people
by making them feel small
or inadequate
or to rubbish whatever learning they have.
Yes they may indeed be
wrong in their thinking,
but there are ways and means
of helping them see the truth.
To assume that we have
the right to correct people,
is a falsehood
if we do not see the beam in our own eyes.
Look at the way
Our Lord puts people right.
The Syro-Phoenician woman is encouraged
to express her faith in Jesus
by answering His statement
that the bread of the children
should not be given to dogs.
In saying that even the dogs
eat the crumbs falling from the table,
her faith is exposed and lauded.
She becomes edified
and her prayers are answered.
Look at the way that Jesus
puts down the teaching of the Pharisees.
He has the authority to teach
because he knows the truth
fully and completely.
And it is because
He has full knowledge of the truth
that the teaching of the Pharisees
must be corrected and cast out.
The Pharisees have been forcing
their intellectual pride
upon other people
and that has been the problem.
Their zeal for bringing
people back to God through
minute performances of the law,
noble though that ambition is,
is rooted in pride in what they know
and they know best.
They have raised the Law
above the perfection
of their people.
Intellectual Pride has
thwarted the Pharisee’s ambition
to bring the people to God
by crushing their souls.
[PAUSE]
If we are to correct others,
then it must be from a position of humility,
recognising our own faults and failures,
our own propensity
to misunderstand,
misread,
and misspeak.
We must take care
not to be condescending,
or insulting,
or belittling.
If at any time we fail
to will the perfection
of those whom we seek to correct,
then we fail God.
[PAUSE]
The true way to communicate
with people is through humility
and a desire for that person’s joy in life.
It is very easy to make
glib corrections which destroy a that joy.
Careless remarks do a lot of damage,
and the only way that
this damage can be repaired
is through repentance,
prayer
and begging for the grace of God
to supply whatever is lacking
and correct what is done amiss.
[PAUSE]
Whenever we are tempted to say “well actually…”,
we must think carefully
about what we want to achieve
in telling the truth.
If we cannot tell the truth in love,
then maybe the truth that we speak
is not actually the truth at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment