Doubt, valuable doubt

Doubt is a valuable thing and not always the enemy of Faith. The conquest of Doubt allows the believer to be assured that he believes in God of his own free will, and not through the mode of his upbringing because he has called that upbringing into question.

If the believer does call into question his infantile faith, that is, the faith in which he was brought up, even baptised, then it ceases to be an infantile faith, but rather a growth and blossoming within the soul.

To question the existence of God, an existence which is indeed not self-evident but rather pointed to by the means of His Creation, causes an upheaval and pain in the soul. Pain is, of course, a good thing because it tells us that something is wrong. One can indeed choose to numb that pain by doing away with God completely, or rejecting His position as King and by doing so, one may numb that pain permanently, but it does not address the real problem.

However, in confronting the pain and confusion, even if one is completely confused, and continue in the worship of God with one's head down and powering through will result in a greater appreciation of God and bring to Him a greater offering, that of one's own free choice.

We must worship God in truth, and our experience of the truth may harbour a doubt in God, or in His actions, or in His goodness. It may even be a doubt that affects a priest at the very moment of the Consecration of the Host! But to continue and give God the benefit of the doubt is to give Him something valuable of our very selves - it is our honesty and the pain that it is causing. God does promise that he who shall endure to the end shall be saved. We have that choice and that choice is precious to God Himself.